


demons and red eyes

by ghostlunes



Category: NCT (Band), WayV (Band)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Alternate Universe - Tokyo Ghoul, Angst, Blood and Gore, Blood and Violence, Half-ghoul, Kagune (Tokyo Ghoul), M/M, Past Relationship(s), Physical Abuse, Suicide Attempt, Torture, psychotic tendencies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:20:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22884673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostlunes/pseuds/ghostlunes
Summary: “go find him, convince him we’re different.” kun cuts him off as he lifts dejun’s frail body effortlessly, the younger’s wounds slowly healing from the open bleeding earlier. sicheng doesn’t wait any longer and bursts out of the building, trying to find the human who has escaped.orwhat happens when ghoul sicheng crosses path with a suicidal yuta who's ready to end it all?Prompt #A013: This work was written for Winwin Fic Fest Round 1 [2020].
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Qian Kun, Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta
Comments: 4
Kudos: 43
Collections: Winwin Fic Fest Round 1, violence





	demons and red eyes

**Author's Note:**

> **disclaimer:** this fic contains disturbing topics, do not read it if you feel uncomfortable with the themes mentioned below.  
>  **trigger warning(s):** physical abuse, suicide, suicide attempt, psychotic tendencies, gore and torture.
> 
> a few things you need to know before reading the work if you don't follow the tokyo ghoul universe! (as taken from tokyo ghoul wiki)  
>  **ghoul's eyes:** [pic](https://66.media.tumblr.com/8403a1d8c6cf9d4e3274359e1717a526/tumblr_ns8jytmvdU1uvkdx4o2_500.png)  
>  **kakuhou:** a sack-like organ that is only present in ghouls. the purpose of the kakuhou is to store rc cells which will then used to form kagune.  
>  **kagune:** ghoul's predatory organ and functions as their weapon and claws, flexible like the flow of water, but firm and sturdy. there are 4 types of [kagune:](https://i.stack.imgur.com/8CCNs.png)  
> \- ukaku: spread out like feathers and is released from the shoulder area, it specializes in high speed attacks, most of the users seeming to have highly enhanced speed.  
> \- koukaku: released below the shoulder blade. it is heavy and extremely robust, giving it the greatest sturdiness and making them very well suited for defense.  
> \- rinkaku: has an appearance similar to scaled tentacles and is released at the back around the waist, powerful regenerative abilities and can survive the most critical of damage.  
> \- bikaku: typically has a tail-like appearance and is released around the tail-bone/coccyx. it is good for medium-distance attacks and has decent offense, defense, and speed. 
> 
> alright, now you're caught up! good luck reading.

sicheng hates himself and his lifestyle; it’s a curse.

but amongst the things he hates, his weekly “collecting food” duty is probably the worst thing in the world, if he were to rank his chores.

why, one might wonder, does he hate it so much?

well, for a start, his job involves collecting dead bodies and slicing the parts off to put inside the prepared body bags. second, the smell of the blood and pure human flesh only makes him hungrier by the second. and he hates it, with his whole being. he doesn’t ask to be born so vastly different from the dominant species. his natural human-looking eyes glow red as he accidentally brings a limb too close to his face, catching a scent of the blood of the poor guy who just committed suicide minutes ago.

you see, sicheng is a ghoul. 

he knows what people think ghouls are - they prey on humans and eat their flesh out in the open. except, he is not that kind of ghoul. there’s a community full of creatures like him, ghouls who don't believe that violence is the answer to their hunger. they resort to the bodies of the ones who have given up, who have traded their lives of misery for a chance of liberty. they collect bodies of countless miserable men, cutting the limbs up with their kagune carefully and praying for them in honour of feeding the whole crew. sicheng still thinks it’s a bit hypocritical, but he’d starve otherwise. this is the only way for him to feel a glimpse of comfort in his own body, one that he hates so much for being so different.

the place he calls home belongs to a man named qian kun, someone so incredibly polite and silent, one would never think of him as nothing less than a human. some might have heard rumours about their leader, that he was once the chief of a gang of rowdy ghouls, who intentionally made troubles for the thrill of it all. but something bad happened to kun and he swerved away from the lifestyle, taking refuge in a humble coffee shop called “qian cafe” in their town, rising in popularity among fellow tame ghouls. sicheng knows the incident that shaped qian kun to be the ghoul that he is today, but he believes it's kun's story to tell.

sicheng always thought that they were a bunch of peculiar creatures. aside from only having to feast on human meat to stay alive, the only other thing they can consume is coffee. which explains why qian kun resorts to opening his own place of comfort and allowing other ghouls to feel, at least a bit, like humans. it’s also weird to think that ghouls can degenerate and regenerate their blood cells into weapons which protrude out from the body called kagune. these cells are called rc cells and are special to ghouls only, setting them apart from the dominant species. misusing the kagune is one of the rules you cannot break once you vow to steer away from useless violence. as a member of the qian cafe, one is only allowed to defend themself with their kagune and nothing more.

everyone should feel like they belong and comfortable in their own skin but as a ghoul, one basically doesn’t have that luxury, unless he gives up the tiny bit of humanity he thought he had in himself and instead, choose to pursue his ultimate thirst for human flesh. plus, they look a whole lot like humans, which helps them blend well in society. ghouls are everywhere, they study medicine with you, they go to coffee shops and they even lure you to dates.

and because of that, a lot of his kind takes advantage of mere humans before devouring them. sicheng has vowed to never go down that path. 

“winwin, we’re done?” a familiar voice comes from behind, alerting and waking sicheng from his thoughts. it’s dejun, or xiao, if one were to argue.

a ghoul usually has two names. one is given at birth, while the other functions as a fake name, a name he chooses once he understands the consequences of his existence in this world. the concept makes it easier for ghouls to stay low and hunt for food. for sicheng, his code name is winwin. dejun, a ghoul who has recently come of age, is helping sicheng with his duty that night. all young ghouls are expected to carry out the dirty work, most agreeing that they bear the strongest bodies. and sicheng couldn’t go against the elders.

“i think we’re finished.” sicheng adjusts the mask covering his mouth, with only his pair of red swimming in black orbs visible, his words coming out muffled. dejun also has a face mask on, but it’s a completely different design from sicheng. his mask covers half of his face, exposing his jaw. 

both of their kagunes disintegrate, the blood cells deteriorating into dust as sicheng places all the body parts into a bag, zipping it up tightly. he kneels in front of the body bags and clasps his hands together, shooting a quick look at a confused dejun. dejun is quick to catch on though, as he hastily takes his place next to sicheng and copies his actions. they both pray silently, for what or to whom, sicheng isn’t so sure.

mid prayer, both of them catch onto a loud thump, not too far from where they’re currently situated. a low grunt follows after, confirming the presence of another body for them to pack for everyone’s meal.

\---

some might say yuta has it all. he has the looks, the charisma and the girls. he has always looked charming, sweeping everyone off their feet with a single smile. everyone knows this, but no one knows the battles he fights alone at home. every single day is hell for him with the presence of his abusive father. he knows he needs to escape this life, but a silver of hope for something better always stops him from doing so. he’s not sure what it will lead him to, but he hopes for a future where none of his sufferings exist. his mother pays no heed to this commotion, leaving the household when he was just ten years of age.

one eerie night, he came home from a late night study session in the library. he always does this to avoid any contact with his father, though it's continuously proven useless. that night, it was even worse than the other beatings. he remembers getting slapped across the face continuously, pushed up against the wall by the throat and causing him to choke. there was a lot more done, but yuta’s mind short circuited that night, only piecing some of his memories together. the last few things he remembers before losing consciousness as he was pushed head first into the bathtub full of water were his father’s terrified scream, the sound of skin slashed open and an outline of a blurry face.

he woke up finding himself covered in a sticky-like substance, too tired to process what had happened. he remembered bringing a hand to his head, soon realizing the smell of blood reeking from his arm. the scream that he let out that night still rings in his ear as he came face to face with his disembodied father, limbs scattered around the bathroom with half of his face eaten away, by none other than those beastly creatures, the ghouls. 

his brain couldn’t comprehend much of the event, only remembering the glaring white lights and annoying beep of some mechanism to track his heartbeats once he woke up in the hospital. it has been roughly two weeks since the brutal murder of his father and yuta is now free to go, physically and mentally. the commission of counter ghoul, or the CCG, says it’s the work of a gang of ghouls. they’re on a clear lookout for the same group of creatures since they have successfully created chaos within the city, killing off humans for fun rather than killing them for necessity.

truthfully, yuta is freaking out. why, in the deepest part of his mind, does he crave the life of those ghouls? he's alone in his house, once covered with the blood of his own abusive father. the negligence of his mother stays the same, with no news of a possible visit from her. he's used to that though, so he brushes it off as quickly as it comes to his mind.

but this feeling. this thrill. 

yuta's glad his father was murdered. there, it's the truth. ever since he woke up from that event, he's never felt more relieved in his life. for the first time since as long as he could remember, he is free. he wraps his arms around his frame, clutching himself tight as he curls up in a ball on the couch in the torn down living room of his apartment. 

his body shakes, little by little, he allows himself to let out a hearty chuckle, which soon turns into a loud, maniacal cackle. he loves this feeling, this thrill. he's so glad his father is dead. he stops mid-laugh after thinking that, raking his fingers through the locks of his unruly hair. soon, the cackle turns into a heart-wrenching sob, which shakes his body more than his previous joy.

what has he become?

why is the thought of his father's death so exhilarating to him? he's no different than a ghoul then, wanting death of his own kind. from that onwards, he falls from grace. rejecting social life completely, he stays a hermit in the confinements of his apartment for many more days. 

until today. where he's more than willing to stop these conflicting emotions. they need to stop and yuta doesn't have any other ways except this. arriving at the abandoned bridge, he begins lighting up a cigarette to celebrate his decision of emancipation. the habit he picks up from his dead father follows him throughout his days of struggles, and he thinks it's appropriate to die with a cigarette in between his lips. 

he doesn't bring anything with him, just his horrendous fit that he puts on without a care of the world. his mind is set as he climbs over the railing weakly, the autumn breeze blowing against his lightweight and starved body. 

"i guess, it's goodbye."

it's the first proper sentence to come out of his mouth after the whole ordeal. somehow it feels good to talk normally again, or for the last time, amidst the screaming, yelling and laughing. and with that he pushes himself off the railing with all the force that he could muster, sending his body flying forward, gravity pulling his frame down right away. 

perhaps he's lucky to have slammed his body against a branch, cushioning his fall from the 14 feet height of the bridge. it's a loud thud and the groan he lets out after surviving that fall sounded more angry than he intended it to be. he needs to try again, he knows some of his bones are probably cracked or broken, but he has to try again. his vision gets more blurry as he tries to get up on his own, heaving against his failed attempt. his ears pick up the sound of rustlings from nearby bushes and before he knows it, he feels light. 

is this what it feels like to die?

\---

it felt as if a whole day has gone by and his body is hurting all over. yuta peeks an eye open with much difficulty after hearing the hushed conversation happening outside of the room he’s occupying at the moment. he looks around, head tilted in wonder at the foreign room.

on the side table, he notices a glass of water and a cup of finished coffee, probably belong to the person outside talking. he takes the glass of water, noticing the cast wrapped tightly around his left arm and gulps down, easing the sore sensation in his throat. he doesn’t remember what happened after that jump. he remembers hitting something in mid-air, probably the sole reason of his failed attempt at ending his own life. he lets out a sigh upon noticing more bruises around his visible skin, littered beside the fading ones which he got from his dead father.

oh yeah, his father is dead. and he was happy about it. or is still happy about it. why is he still alive? he’s clearly not human anymore.

is he being abducted by the ghouls who killed his father then? 

are they aware of his dark intentions and mind? 

is he going to follow the same fate of his father, dead under the clutch of merciless creatures, who only craves for his flesh?

so deep in thought, his weak fingers give out and lets the glass clang onto the tile of the bedroom, creating a terrible sound that stops whatever conversation the people outside are having. the door creaks open, revealing a blonde with a serious looking face, his orbs are astoundingly brown and normal, so human, allowing him to be dismissed from yuta’s suspicion of him being a ghoul.

“you’re awake. how are you feeling?”

his voice sounds calm, despite having to maneuver his way towards the side of the bed, making sure yuta is in a comfortable position on it. yuta keeps mum, probably having nothing to say to this stranger. the blonde lets out a sigh, rather frustrated from yuta’s lack of response.

“kun-ge, you might need to come in.” another person comes in after, he looks even softer than stranger number one, more welcoming and warm. yuta feels at ease, he can feel himself lowering his guard down, making himself more vulnerable.

“nakamoto yuta, my name is qian kun. you’re currently in my coffee shop.” kun stops for a while and points to the first stranger in an attempt to introduce him. “this is sicheng, the one who nursed you back to health.” sicheng just nods, ears picking up the sound of someone by the door, making kun smile at the intruder’s effort of trying to stay hidden.

“and that one is dejun. we can see you by the way.” kun calls out, only chuckling when dejun joins the rest of them inside, hand against his nape in shame. kun turns back to a confused yuta and carries on his explanation. 

“sicheng and dejun were the ones who found you, they brought you back because you were still breathing and were hurt pretty badly from the fall.” kun finishes, only to be interjected by sicheng.

“i couldn’t leave you there to suffer alone. so i’m sorry if we spoiled your plans.” he stops for a second, finally locking eyes with the patient on the bed. “we know your story, nakamoto yuta. we take notice of the frequent attacks from this particular group of ghouls and we know what they’ve done to your father.”

throughout all this, yuta sits in silence, not sure what to reply or what to react. he manages a quick smile, so quick it doesn’t seem genuine at all. “you don’t understand me at all.” he musters to say, and it feels so raw, everyone notices the welled up tears in the corner of his eyes, threatening to fall down any second now.

and for a moment, the whole room turns quiet, allowing yuta to express his grief and sorrows through his tears and heart-wrenching sobs, the three others keeping mum to respect him. it feels like forever but yuta quieted down after a while, to which sicheng responds with a pat on his shoulder. he doesn’t remember sicheng stepping close to him before, so lost in his own cocoon that it startles him a tad bit.

“i believe you deserve a second chance, we all think so. do you want to work at and stay here?” kun nods at the suggestion, probably already agreeing to this option during the conversation they had outside. yuta looks at the faces in the room, soon understanding that he is not alone in this world after all. 

however, a spout of indecisiveness is still evident in his voice when he mutters, “you are all not ghouls, are you?” the question is soft, barely audible to the ears but it certainly made everyone in the room freeze in their tracks. if yuta were observant enough, he’d notice the brief exchange of gazes between sicheng and kun. “we’re not.” sicheng replies after a few heartbeats, making it less obvious as he appears less defensive. 

_it’s better for yuta to not know._ kun had said. and sicheng agrees. 

_the lack of information will shield him from a broken heart, the truth would be too cruel for him at this moment, maybe someday._ kun’s voice rings through sicheng’s consciousness as he places a hand on yuta’s shoulder, a gesture to comfort the human’s worries.

“we’ll treat you like our brother. qian cafe always accepts the miserable. you’re more than welcome to start a new life here.” and sicheng means what he says. yuta does deserve a second chance. another chance at living in oblivion, if it means he’ll be happy and safe. slowly, a more genuine smile creeps up to yuta’s lips, brighten the whole room with its genuineness for the first time.

“thank you.”

he musters up the gratitude, reaching with his good arm to wrap itself around sicheng’s neck, engulfing him in a safe hug. 

“thank you so much.”

\---

it’s been more than a month since yuta’s failed plan and he has never been happier. his arm cast is getting removed next week and then he can finally wait tables faster. his life at qian cafe is better than his previous one, giving him the chance to heal from the shit that he’s been through. kun also notes that business has been better thanks to yuta’s charm. his old schoolmates have noticed his whereabouts and have flooded the cafe every other day just to catch up with him. of course he keeps his facade on like before, but at least he doesn’t have to pretend to be happy around people anymore, because he genuinely feels so.

yuta also learns the other employees in the cafe are working and staying there, it’s their workplace and home. qian kun seems to have provided for these unfortunate kids, in need of a home by offering them a job and a place to stay. yuta understands that he’s finally part of something. ultimately, he belongs.

there are a couple of employees that he met after that day, and one of them was yukhei. he often helps with the heavy loads and supplies, carrying them from the supplier into their shop every early morning. then there’s also kunhang. he mainly operates as the main barista aside from sicheng. both of them know exactly what to do with their coffee and drinks, always getting praise after praise from new or regular customers. then there’s the baker-patissier yangyang who makes the best dessert and sweets despite being the youngest recruit there. he mostly learns a lot from kun, who is a baker himself, but soon received the baton to begin leading the baking team as kun settles to work in the background and focuses more on being a boss.

it’s a small team. yuta and dejun would wait tables, it used to be dejun alone, but his job got easier when yuta came along. it’s not always packed there, but there are busy days where they would struggle with a seven people team operating a decently recognised cafe but it's always rewarding to close the shop at night and share their success of the day.

the regulars are more than welcoming to him as well. it seems that the staff have formed a tight bond with the regulars, obvious from how they were on first name basis with one another and knowing what exactly the customers want. yuta believes he’s never come across such close relations between workers and customers. he guesses it's really true when yukhei explained to him the other day about the cafe being his one and true home. yuta relates heavily now.

yuta is waiting tables when a petite figure of a man walks through the cafe doors with ease, finding his way towards the far table by the window to take a seat. his cat-like features make him stand out in the crowd, and the piercings that littered his earlobes aren’t helping either. the atmosphere of the cafe turns gloomy in a second, the excited chatter of the regulars stopping abruptly at the sight of the man in his leather jacket and ripped skinny jeans.

yuta can tell that he is a regular too, by the way dejun walks over to him and refers to him as ‘yongqin’. but dejun appears less friendly than he would used to with the other regulars, which piques yuta’s interest towards the man. moments later, dejun serves him his coffee and leaves him alone without any more chatter, quietly retreating to his place behind the bar next to yuta who is keeping an eye out on his assigned tables. 

yuta lets his curiosity win. 

“who is that?” he asks dejun without motioning towards the guy. yuta would usually do the same to other regulars, wanting to know and connect with them as well but the urgency in his voice this time made dejun raise his brow at him in wonder. 

“you sound excited.” dejun points out the obvious but proceeds to expose the intimidating customer anyways. 

“li yongqin. he and kun go way back, i don’t know the rest of the story but some said they used to be lovers.” dejun explains, giggling a little at the last part at the thought of their boss manifesting feelings for another, whose traits wildly parallel with his. yuta only nods, smiling away with dejun’s further speculations of their boss’ love life until he notices the man in question walking towards the table occupied by yongqin.

the smaller of the two only gives him a cheeky smile, almost mockingly from yuta’s point of view but maybe he’s looking at it in a different way. they’re talking, and dejun has disappeared to tend to the last few customers left in the cafe, leaving yuta behind to inspect the silent conversation he’s invested in.

kun looks around and sighs, gestures with his hand towards yongqin, which probably means that he should follow him into his office which he certainly did. they disappear from the cafe main area into the small door that connects the space to the hallway, leading to kun’s office and their kitchen where yangyang mostly resides.

yuta looks around again, making sure he is not urgently needed by dejun before he swiftly makes a beeline towards the archway and through the door, his curiosity getting the best of him when he settles his back against the wall next to kun’s office door. he makes sure no one is tailing behind as he leans the side of his head against the wall, closing his ear closer in an attempt to eavesdrop their conversation.

it's unclear, but yuta can hear bits and pieces of their words. kun’s voice has always been soft and low, somehow he is trying to stay quiet and not raise his voice at the other, despite the glint of anger laced in his voice that yuta expertly recognises.

“he’s going to find out sooner or later.” yongqin’s slightly higher voice is muffled, but yuta swears it’s exactly what he heard, followed by a very exasperated sigh from kun. “you cannot keep him in the dark forever!” yongqin’s voice is higher this time, his anger more prominent than kun’s. 

“so, what do you suggest i do, ten? i will certainly not let him join your god forsaken clan even if he’s one of our kind.” kun’s voice is firmer now, all his questions are enunciated loud and clear and even through the walls, yuta can clearly understand the alarming tone. whoever he’s talking about, kun surely wants to protect the person.

"but it's our clan, q. have you forgotten? we built it together." there's hurt in yongqin's voice but it's soon covered by a nonchalant laugh. “i left the clan, i hope you remember why.” a cracking and guttural-like sound surfaces in between the chuckle and yongqin’s next speech. it seems like yongqin doesn’t take the answer too well.

“do you really want the recruits to pick him up and send him to dr. taeil, hm?” there’s danger in yongqin’s voice, yuta knows whatever they’re talking about, yongqin is not spouting empty threats. soon, the same peculiar sound erupts again, followed by a low growl coming from kun. “over my dead body.”

“what are you doing.” the question seems more like a statement as it comes hushed from sicheng to his right, almost making yuta jump in his seat from the shock. his eyes are wide and he can’t bring himself to explain as the argument in the room gets more heated, yet it seems to have tuned out from yuta’s brain as he’s fully focusing on sicheng now.

sicheng doesn’t ask anymore and pulls him by his good arm, the action quite harsh as he leads the two of them up the stairs and towards their living area on top of the cafe. sicheng has been feeling quite unwell that day so he took a break to refresh himself in his own room for a while, but it seems like he’s about to go down and help close the cafe up for the night.

upon reaching sicheng’s room, yuta is told to go inside and sicheng wastes no second to give him a stern look, as if to tell him to stay in his place when he shuts the door in his face. yuta doesn’t know what’s going on but he complies as he waits for the other man.

meanwhile, sicheng makes his way towards the office downstairs and opens up the door to kun having his hand around ten’s throat, their kagune in full display as sicheng realises how he’s stunted ten’s intended surprise attack. both of them get off each other as sicheng closes the door, his own eyes turning red as his kagune springs out, a sturdy koukaku that emerges around his shoulders area, in case their anger could harm him.

“this place is not for fights. and thank you for being careless, yuta has overheard your conversation.” his tone is menacing, making yongqin’s bikaku dissipate and so does kun’s rinkaku. sicheng eliminates his own, his eyes turning back its original human colour as he lets out a defeated sigh. 

“yongqin, you can’t just come here to claim yuta, we want him out of the mess, we’ve talked about this.” sicheng starts, eyes locked with the person in question before making eye contact with kun himself. “you too, ge, i thought you’d at least have more sense than start a fight, in the cafe, while customers are still here.” kun looks like he wants to say something but is stopped with yongqin’s obnoxious cackle. 

“you don’t know it, do you?” he asks, eyes sharp as he leans against the table near him. “of course you don’t. you’re shielding yourself from reality. wake up, you’re ghouls.” sicheng raises a brow as if to ask him to spill the information he’s withholding from them.

“they’re looking for him. they want him, and before you two know it, he’s going to be stripped away and turned against his own will.” there is silence, both kun and sicheng keep their eyes on ten as he continues, with hell dripping out of his tone.

“he’s going to be their new experiment.”

\---

sicheng has been real quiet after the encounter with him in front of the office sneaking away, based on yuta’s observation. when sicheng comes back up that day to check up on him, yuta has made himself comfortable on the chair of sicheng’s desk, passing by reading some of sicheng’s displayed books on his shelf.

sicheng had said that he needed to be closer to him under his breath, had pulled him into a tight hug but careful enough to not crush his busted arm against their bodies, had sounded lost, somehow.

yuta doesn’t understand, but he chooses to not dwell into it any longer as his life goes back to normal. kun doesn’t show any difference in his tone while talking to him, so perhaps he doesn’t know his conversation was leaked to yuta’s ears. but until now, yuta still doesn’t understand the whole exchange of words, making him more curious than ever.

it's one of those days where business isn’t as rushed so yuta turns to dejun who’s currently nodding off, deciding that it’s best to leave him alone to rest for a while. sicheng is standing at his left while kunhang is right behind yuta, if he were to turn around and take a seat at the bar. and so he did.

“i need to ask you something.” his relationship with kunhang has blossomed throughout the days he spent there, so it's way past the comfort zone to ask about what’s bothering him at the moment. 

“shoot me your best shot.” kunhang replies, cleaning the glasses and mugs and lining them neatly in front of him. yuta thinks for the best question to ask for a moment before opening his mouth, his question flows right out of it without regrets.

“has sicheng ever hugged you and said he needs to be closer to you?” it’s obvious how curious yuta is with the question but he only earns an eyebrow lift from kunhang for the first 5 seconds. “sicheng hugged you?” he sounds like he’s in disbelief, which explains why when he continues his answer. “sicheng never outwardly shows compassion.” yuta is in awe as he slowly slides back to his previous standing area, mouthing a quick thanks when he spots a new customer walking into the cafe.

“he thinks i can’t hear him.” sicheng says, his hands still swiftly cleaning the glasses in front of him, eyes not leaving them. kunhang nods, not surprised by sicheng’s heightened hearing. being ghouls, it’s one of the many abilities they’re born with.

“he’s weirded out by you, cheng. what’s happening?” kunhang replies, facing the boy in question before receiving a mere shrug as an answer. “it’s nothing.” sicheng then finishes, hoping he could share his concerns but chooses not to, as to avoid the uprise of panic in their home. yukhei would probably know at this point, sicheng thinks, he’s still with yongqin on missions. only him and kun know at the moment, and he’s established the fact that he is not lucky at all.

sicheng places the squeaky clean glasses in order like he usually would before diverting his attention to kunhang, an unsure smile on his face in an attempt to shrug the conversation off. out of the blue, a new voice joins them. by this point, kunhang and sicheng are accustomed to the owner of the voice so it doesn’t shock them when yangyang joins in. the baker who’s been freed from his duties chooses to join the two behind the bar, back resting against the counter as he has his arms crossed against his chest. 

“it’s going to be time for collection again. i’m not sure how to do it with him around.” sicheng moves his attention to the boy who’s currently attending to the customer at the moment, an unconscious sigh escaping his being. it’s true. their food supplies have been limited since they have not figured out how to collect them with yuta in the radar. it’s going to be too risky. kun had said and the others agreed to that statement. even though their hunger can be stunted by coffee, it still wouldn’t make them fully satisfied. 

besides, sicheng knows his body is getting more and more weak for consuming human food for the sake of yuta believing him. he knows he’s at his brink, yet he still manages to keep up the act for yuta.

“i heard, from kun-ge, we’ll be collecting a ton of food from other areas when yuta’s going to that hospital appointment to remove his arm cast.” yangyang starts again, taking a look into both of the other ghouls’ orbs. sicheng then realises his eyes flash a quick shade of black and red, an effect prominent when ghouls are starved. 

sicheng doesn’t know about this, yet, which perhaps can be explained from his lack of conversation with kun after the news. he doesn’t feel the need to talk to kun when there is obviously an air of awkwardness around them.

“really? then, it’s going to be soon, like this thursday?” kunhang’s voice pulls him out of his own thoughts, prompting him to pay attention back to the conversation taking place between the three of them. 

yangyang just nods and keeps mum when yuta rolls back to the scene with an empty tray, reciting his order fluently to kunhang so he could prepare it. he’s only been here for a short while but he’s managed to master all the names and favourite combinations of the customers of the cafe, which is quite impressive.

sicheng remembers his first time as a waiter, he didn’t do too well. his balance was off that day and he ended up messing up a whole table with spilled coffee. the customers were not happy at all, which explains why he prefers standing behind the bar and perfecting his craft in making coffee, his personal saviour. 

“yuta, when’s your appointment to remove the cast?” sicheng makes sure his voice is loud enough for yuta to hear, considering the spacious distance in between them. yuta perks his head up at the sudden voice of sicheng, a voice he’s come to miss, perhaps, before making eye contact with the boy behind the bar.

“it’ll be this wednesday, around late evening.” yangyang just nods at the slightly different date mentioned, totally off from his assumption earlier. yuta continues with his healing smile, “i’m gonna need to take a leave i guess.” sicheng just hums for a couple of seconds, his thought kept to himself for a couple of more minutes before he speaks up.

“i’ll go with you. then, we can go somewhere fun.” his answer is too straightforward, even dejun who just reaches the bar chokes at it. he doesn’t know sicheng’s intention but yangyang and kunhang on the other hand, understand completely. collecting food might take more time than planned, it always does, so it’s better to get more time in their hands before yuta returns home for the night. since they’ll be getting more supplies this time, it will surely mess up their prior timing.

“um, yeah, sure.” yuta tries hard to keep it to himself, but the faded blush doesn’t go unnoticed from the eyes of dejun, sicheng and the other two. 

\---

“where should we go next?” yuta asks curiously amidst trying to flex his fingers while he comfortably sits down on the hospital chair. the doctor and nurse responsible for his cast removal have gone through a few discussions on which medications yuta should be on still, so he takes this chance to ask sicheng where he has planned for them to go.

“i hope you don’t mind the cinema?” sicheng pulls out his phone, flashing the two digital tickets displayed from an app, a small smile prominent on his lips. it seems like a horror movie from its poster, but yuta isn’t so sure.

“i don’t mind at all!” yuta’s tone is bright, which affirms sicheng that it will be a good day ahead. their gaze into each other’s eyes are cut off by the sound of the doctor’s voice, to which yuta quickly reacts to by facing him properly. sicheng, who’s sitting behind him in the hospital room just keeps his smile on his face as he watches the exchange between the medical professional and the boy. 

the doctor prescribes some painkillers and medications appropriately and yuta leaves the room with sicheng with a respectful nod and a thank you to the people inside the space. once the door is closed behind them, he turns to sicheng with the fondest smile and holds up his healed hand for the other to take. “let’s go.” sicheng can feel his smile grow as their fingers interlock perfectly and when yuta pulls him with a force enough to make them both go straight to the door and towards the exit of the hospital. 

it’s nearing 6 o’clock in the evening, so the cinema might be packed with people who are watching the same movie. and it’s true when they reach the building, lines to the confectioneries are long enough for them to deduce that it’ll take more than ten minutes to purchase a single box of popcorn.

“good thing our movie doesn’t start until 6:30, right?” yuta grins to sicheng as they take a spot in the line, hands still in each other’s like it’s normal. maybe sicheng doesn’t volunteer to take yuta to the hospital to buy some time for the others. maybe he just wants to spend time with yuta.

his thought is interrupted with a confused noise coming from the boy occupying his mind. yuta raises a brow as a silent question, to which sicheng replies with a single shake of the head and a smile. yep, it’s going to be a great night.

the movie is okay, it ends earlier than expected, despite countless ads being played over before the movie even started. perhaps his choice of movie isn’t the best, sicheng thinks to himself. besides, sicheng is worried by the fact that yuta might not be scared of scary themes at all. it seems like he is immune to it, much like sicheng. though, sicheng might have an idea why yuta doesn’t completely react to the violent neck snapping and flesh tearing in the movie. 

“it’s still early, huh?” yuta’s voice pushes his thoughts away as they’re making their way out of the cinema. the sky is completely dark now as opposed to earlier, but both of them can still tell that the night is pretty young. sicheng takes a look at his watch upon hearing yuta’s question, figuring that it’d be better to buy more time for the others so he suggests the first thing that comes to his head. 

“bet you can’t beat me in racing?” the idea made yuta’s smile grow bigger and sicheng thought maybe he should let loose and enjoy his time with yuta tonight.

and maybe sicheng has underestimated how good yuta is in arcade racing games. here they are, almost five games in and sicheng hasn’t gotten a single win from their tournaments. there are times when sicheng thinks yuta might be cheating but since it’s nearing the end of the fifth game and he still hasn’t won, he kind of gave up in the end.

and it’s proven true when yuta finishes the lap with a yell of victory, shocking the nearby kids who’re playing their own games in the cramped arcade. sicheng gives him a playful glare, searching for his lump of tokens earlier for another round but is met with nothing but bills. heck, they’ve finished all their tokens on those racing games? 

“i think we should try the other ones.” yuta holds up a fistful of tokens in his hand, apparently he’s taken the time to buy more of those while sicheng is busy wallowing in his defeat. sicheng just scoffs at the thought and gives yuta a little nod. “yeah, let’s do the crane? i think i need a new plushie. think you can win me one?” sicheng then realises how flirty his question sounds five seconds into staring into yuta’s expression but it’s too late. the boy has already accepted the challenge. 

“bet.” and he flashes sicheng the biggest smile, making his heart skip a beat against his will. sicheng knows it too well, he’s felt like this before with yoonoh, his childhood crush, but this feeling of his has been abandoned for so long and experiencing it again after so many years made sicheng feel rather uneasy. plus the situation yuta’s in at the moment, he knows he shouldn’t be attached too fast, because only bad things will follow suit if he lets himself fall. 

with all these thoughts in his mind, convincing him to stay alert, they still didn’t manage to stop him from watching yuta fail at the crane a couple of times until finally winning him a chick plushie, being told how similar he is to one by yuta himself.

\---

sicheng doesn’t clearly remember the next thing that happened. he just remembers smelling blood, but not just any normal human blood, but the blood of a ghoul. or a couple of ghouls.

they are a couple of steps away from the cafe, which was conveniently closed earlier that night since most of the staff have other things to attend to. sicheng doesn’t expect to hear wrenched groans and cries coming from the building when they enter, doesn’t have enough time to cover the scene so yuta can’t see it, doesn’t have the ability to stay calm when he sees dejun, yangyang and kunhang on the floor, bleeding their lives out.

their kagunes are out, slashing and wriggling violently but not enough to do any harm from sicheng’s observation. dejun’s ukaku dissolves as soon as they regenerate, the same goes to yangyang’s and kunhang’s bikakus, which aren’t strong enough to develop all the way.

he sees red and instinctively, he runs and finds himself in between those writhing bodies, covered by open wounds and slashes across their skin. sicheng knows they will heal but from the look on kun’s face something might have gone terribly wrong. 

“what the fuck happened?” sicheng’s voice is shaking, he’s a mixed of feelings. he doesn’t seem to get why those three haven’t healed from the wounds they received. kun just keeps mum while attending to the three of his workers with his own rinkaku, slashing the bag of flesh open to feed the injured ghouls.

“they were attacked by the recruits, i couldn’t do anything.” kun quietly lets dejun gulp down flesh, chomping onto the food quickly to help with his hunger as well as his damage. yangyang and kunhang have managed to calm their kagunes down, making them disappear and slowly fall into a slumber on the floor of the cafe.

“you know why.” kun continues, allowing dejun to rest his head against his lap on the floor, their blood staining the tiles of the cafe inevitably. sicheng eyes widen at the realisation. all of this seems to happen so fast that sicheng forgets how he’s come home with yuta, which then flips his panic switch when he cannot find the boy anywhere in the space.

“fuck, kun-” 

“go find him, convince him we’re different.” kun cuts him off as he lifts dejun’s frail body effortlessly, the younger’s wounds slowly healing from the open bleeding earlier. sicheng doesn’t wait any longer and bursts out of the building, trying to find the human who has escaped. it's proven an easy task when he finds yuta not long after, standing under one of the streetlights near their cafe. sicheng figures he wouldn’t be able to walk away too far, not when sicheng can easily look for him from the air. 

“i didn’t expect that you’d lie to me.” yuta speaks, his voice low and muffled, it seems like he’s been crying but is trying hard to appear like he’s unbothered. but sicheng knows that’s not the case, he understands what yuta must be feeling now. 

cheated, betrayed, terrified.

sicheng doesn’t know what to say. this is the first time in a while that he sounds desperate and defensive. “we’re not like others, you know us, yuta.” he tries with the first argument, which doesn’t make yuta budge at all. sicheng is getting frustrated at the shared silence, so he steps in closer. one, two steps, and he’s directly behind yuta who is looking away, yet he doesn’t see the punch coming. yuta’s reflex is quick for a human, and to sicheng the punch across his cheek isn’t as painful as the words that come next. 

“you’re just a ghoul and all you do is devour us. what are you planning to do with me? nurse me back to health so you can experience the best taste? fuck off, sicheng!” yuta spits the words with such hatred that sicheng’s beginning to think that everything they’ve done for this boy means nothing but dust to him. his hand is slow to cover his throbbing cheek and by the time he looks up, yuta has already disappeared into the night. sicheng truly wants to look after him and makes him understand. but the ache in his own heart is inconsolable at that point. yes, he’s just a ghoul after all.

yuta tries his best to shake the pain away from his wrist, he’s somehow too angry to realise that he’s used his newly healed arm to deliver that punch to sicheng. he may have cracked his bone again from how hard he hit sicheng just now. he notices how he’s no longer being followed, so his steps become slower and slower until they halt to a stop. he can’t explain this feeling, he’s just lost. here he is, the first time in his life, trying to trust people with all his heart and they turned out to be the very source of his unhappiness. perhaps they really are planning to eat him one day. thank god he’s gone before they can do so. 

halfway into his trek, he’s stopped by a shadowy figure looming over his own, which made him look up. the men look nothing but ordinary, their whole appearance is intimidating to say the least. they were five of them, and the one in the middle creeps closer in a heartbeat. and when he gets closer, yuta realises how he’s basically floating, his feet not touching the ground and the silhouette that is supporting his weight is basically, his kagune. these creeps are that band of ghouls the media is talking about. somehow, one of the faces looks awfully familiar. it’s like he’s seen him before but yuta cannot pinpoint when and where exactly, until a single memory resurfaces from the worst night of his life. 

this was the band of ghouls who raided his house and killed his father.

“finally,” the one advancing starts, his voice reeks with insanity, matching the coldness in his orbs as he becomes eye to eye with yuta. “we’ve laid our hands on this pretty face without his little protectors.”

\---

sicheng is losing his mind, though he stops himself from looking after yuta after the punch, he wills himself to find him still because he knows his emotions shouldn’t be compared to what yuta is feeling at that moment. and so he follows yuta’s tracks the whole night, only to be met with disappointment when the boy is nowhere in sight.

he prays they don’t have their hands on the human yet but the news that yongqin and yukhei bring to them today confirms his biggest fear. yuta was captured and taken away by the recruits that night. sicheng couldn’t stop the anger bubbling from the deepest part of him because he knows he could’ve stopped that from happening if he was not selfish and self-observed. he knows he can stop yuta from being taken away and experimented on. he knows, he is to blame.

before yongqin could finish, sicheng has already stormed off, abandoning the people in the cafe to have a place for his own where he could think. his kagune slashes through the space in front of it as he makes a huge jump, cutting nothing but air, only fueling his dissatisfaction more. he makes a leap from one roof to the other, except that his concentration is off so he lands hard on the ground; he swears he could hear his bones crack under the impact.

he figures he knows where he should be, and that place should be a quiet enough spot for him to let out his frustration. he doesn’t expect his legs to automatically find their way to the bridge where they would normally collect their food, the place that starts it all. he knows what he feels towards yuta is nothing but pure sympathy, which explains his deep regret of not saving him sooner. he knows, he should’ve stepped forward and forced yuta to come home with him, explain to him what really happened and why yuta should trust him, trust kun and trust the others.

he lets his legs dangle over the bridge as he covers his face with both hands. his kagune dies out at the same moment when he takes a seat at the edge of the bridge, his dark red pupils following suit. if one were to look at sicheng now, they would assume he’s a mere human, harmless as a dove, yet dark intentions run deep in his veins. 

_humans can be dangerous too_ , sicheng remembers his mother’s words right before her death, right before the CCG found their hiding place and proceeded to murder his mother for protecting her son. sicheng was given time to escape, but he could never forget the look on her mother’s face when they captured and continued to stab her repeatedly. 

_live on._ was what his mother said.

but how is he supposed to continue the life of a ghoul when he’s constantly being burdened by the guilt of being one? if he was normal, he’d have a family. if he was normal, he’d be in school or have a decent job. if he was normal, yuta wouldn’t hate him.

sicheng forgot when he started crying, yet, he can’t stop. all of his accumulated emotions come rushing out in the form of tears, realising that he could no longer put up a tough demeanor at this point. the last time he cried this hard was when kun found him under this very bridge, later offering him a place to stay and work at. he remembers it like it was just yesterday, he was not older than fifteen years old when he used to feed off the suicide victims from this bridge. kun, who happened to just open up a new cafe business after his own past, was actively looking for workers. through the cafe, he got to meet life-long friends, and he couldn’t be more grateful.

kun saved his life that day. it has been years since their first meeting but sicheng still sees kun as a father figure until this day, expressing his gratitude through the countless hours he spends working in the cafe without complaining.

qian kun is the perfect example of a kind ghoul, but sicheng expects people who know him by q would disagree otherwise. kun used to kill and terrorise neighbourhoods during his early teenage days, fueled by his own anger towards the society and its clear discriminations towards their kind. one incident stopped him dead in the tracks though, it was when he met ten, or li yongqin. legends would describe them as partners in crime, lovers, or the perfect duo. and it was perfect, according to kun. they would grow to become the most fearful couple in the eyes of the other ghoul clans. 

alas, things didn’t always turn out well for his kind. other clans formed allies between themselves only to bring q and ten down, and they did. kun only told sicheng this story once but he still keeps it fresh in his mind. all of their clan members turned their backs against q and ten, forcing them to fight the others on their own. q was pushed to the limits but ten was worse, kun said, he will never forget the damage ten had to go through that night.

luckily, the battle of the clans was stopped by the CCG, forcing all ghouls to scatter like cockroaches at the sight of light. q took this chance to escape with ten in his arms, swearing to himself that he’d leave the life he had behind. 

sicheng recalls kun saying that he loves yongqin with all his heart, but the latter still refuses to get out of that lifestyle. so kun had to choose. and he chose to be a better ghoul.

sicheng checks his phone for the time and sighs when he realises it's half past midnight, a cue for him to get back to the cafe to assure everyone that he is okay. he assumes kun must be waiting for him in the office, and he is right when he sees the light coming through the crack of kun’s door upon his arrival to the cafe.

the sound of his footsteps do not go unnoticed as kun opens the door to his office, looking grim as ever. he would always appear bright and friendly according to his staffs, but tonight, sicheng knows he cannot put that expression up. kun offers a silent spread of his arms, an indication for a hug. and sicheng, feeling terribly lost and dejected, decides that it’s what he needs at the moment. 

warmth.

he hopes yuta is feeling warm and safe.

\---

yuta can’t remember things well after that night. he doesn't remember anything but the harsh thumpings of his own heart, beating against his ribcage as if trying to escape its own confinement. memories before the encounter with the band of ghouls are blurry, he deduces, simply because he cannot pinpoint a single thing that happens before or after that very meeting. silence engulfs his whole being before a slight ringing pushes him out of his unrecognized slumber, so distant yet it feels so near. that's when his eyes focus as they blink open, familiarity hits him when he sees the almost white room he's currently in. 

he doesn't notice the contrast between his left eye and the right, which glows red, the sclera fully black as if he tattooed it by himself. trapped on the bed, he notices the beastly hunger, his hunger for food, yet not something of the ordinary like before, but a hunger for his own kind's flesh.

“ah, you’re awake. it’s good to have you back, nakamoto yuta.”

yuta panics, his mind shifting from one memory to the other upon seeing the man in his white medical robe. somehow, he remembers this man. and the quick flick of his eye towards the name sewed into the robe tells him who he is exactly.

“you’re dr. taeil.” his voice is hoarse, it feels like he hasn’t been talking since that night. despite that, yuta decides to finish his assumption anyway. “you’re the one kun and yongqin were talking about.” 

“you’re right.” the smile on dr. taeil’s face is sinister even though it can be mistaken for nonchalance. yuta knows when someone has evil thoughts, he used to see his father smile like that too. despite his racing heart, yuta wills his voice to stand still, avoiding the quiver that’s threatening to surface. “what do you need from me?” he then notices how he’s tied to the bed, his white robe only covering his upper body until his knees.

he can feel a slight sting around the area of the base of his spine, something extremely foreign is nestled safely under his skin. yuta knows something is completely wrong when the waves of hunger come again, making him groan weakly on the mattress.

“you must be hungry. eat something.” the doctor’s tone is not as welcoming as he hopes it to be as he nudges a bundle of food towards his face. without thinking, he munches on, finishing every part of the food presented to him not more than five minutes. only when he’s able to properly process the situation, his eyes widen. his white robe is now stained with blood, some still dripping down onto the fabric which makes yuta even more shocked when he realises his lower half of his face is totally covered with the same substance.

“from now on, you’re an experiment, a half ghoul. johnny will try to accomodate you well.” yuta notices how his smile grows even more sinister, he’s not sure what to expect until a tall silhouette shields his figure from the glaring lights of the ward. the person looks emotionless, his eyes hard and exuding nothing that yuta can interpret, which is bad because usually he knows what he’s up with. today isn’t a lucky day. 

“what did you fucking do to me?!” his right eye contrasts greatly with his normal one on the left, glaring red and black as he struggles away from the inching figure. the doctor, of course, pays no heed as he’s already making his way to other beds in the same cramped ward. only a single sentence is heard to reply to his question. “that kakuhou will do you wonders.”

yuta’s body is thrown over a portable bed without any care, causing him to hiss when he lands straight on his fresh surgery wound. whatever they put inside him, it’s not making him feel good at all. he’s wheeled out of the room, along the empty hallways where screams and yells bounce off the walls like it’s normal. yuta shrinks in his position, eyes closed tight as he lets the noises tune out of his mind, passing out as he is brought into an empty, white room.

yuta only realises how plain it's when he’s awakened from the sharp needle protruding his skin, lurching himself forward at the intended pain inflicted on his arm. the substance forcefully injected into his system causes him to sweat profusely, his whole body feeling like it's being burned from the inside. and then it just stops. johnny still looks unbothered as he leaves yuta on the bed, his limbs strapped against the thin mattress as he waits for his fate. he knows he won’t have any luck but it doesn’t hurt to try and get closure. 

“why are you doing this to me?” somehow johnny stops what he’s doing for a second, but yuta notices the hiccup. the rustle of the materials johnny has laid out in front of him on the table are not visible to yuta, which piques his concern more. “doing my job. you’re a valuable specimen, so i’ve heard. i’ll do you justice.” with that, johnny turns with a pair of pliers in his hand, sharp enough to cut a thick wire into two.

“the rc cells suppressant will stop your kagune from regenerating, your limbs will regenerate fine.” it’s the last thing yuta hears before he screams bloody murder, all of his fingers and toes are cut off like nails one by one, with an extremely and painfully slow pace. yuta isn’t sure if it’s part of the procedure, but somehow he knows johnny is doing the most to prolong the torture. 

it’s an endless, vicious cycle.

johnny would come back every two or so hours, he doesn’t know, to check up on him after every session. his missing bits always regenerate fast enough for johnny to do the same technique again and again, every time feeling impressed by how fast yuta can heal and grow new limbs like they were never eliminated. time is getting harder to interpret. yuta doesn’t remember what day it is. he knows he needs to escape this but alas, it's no use.

he is stuck here until they’re satisfied.

\---

a whole month and a half goes excruciatingly slow for the staff of qian cafe, the absence of a particular human doesn’t go unnoticed by them at all. in fact, they try to bring yuta into the conversation in a lighthearted tone, hoping that somewhere, yuta remembers who they are, were, to him. a gloomy sunday afternoon, it seems like it’s going to rain. not many customers are present at the cafe, the ones inside are already packing up to leave due to the gradually worsening weather. 

sicheng tries to brew the last order for that day quickly, hoping that it would end his shift faster but his mind is elsewhere. luckily his hands have already made most of the orders so it brings him no problem to stare and sigh every now and then. an overestimation is his single enemy as he accidentally pours a little too much hot water into the cup, causing his customer’s coffee to spill over the table. 

kunhang, who is already cleaning his glasses, steps in to help. he gives sicheng a slight nod and a sincere smile, enough for sicheng to exchange it with an apologetic one of his own. he scurries to the sink to start wetting the cleaning cloth, ready to wipe the mess off the table when the bell at the top of the door rings, indicating a new customer.

by that time, it’s already raining softly, making most of the staff wonder who would go out of their way to let themselves drench in such gloomy weather. perhaps, they’re seeking shelter, sicheng thinks. dejun wastes no time to take steps forward and towards the table occupied by the new customer, his long white strands are hard to miss. sicheng and the others continue their halted work but a sudden slam against the counter shocks both kunhang and sicheng in their place.

dejun is shaking, his eyes watering rapidly before he starts babbling nonsense at first. sicheng focuses and knows exactly what he means. he jumps over the counter without any difficulties and runs, seizing up the new customer into his arms.

“yuta!”

sicheng remembers screaming the familiar name over and over during his nightmare, only to be woken up by the absence of the boy with that very name. the guilt never leaves him, everyone knows, yet they all act as if it is not. sicheng knows deep down, he is the one to be blamed. yuta’s figure is turgid in his hold, prompting sicheng to pull away slowly in question. however, a smile grows on his face when he sees the same radiant smile of the other, it really is yuta. yuta has come home. 

“i need to see kun.” strangely, nothing is exchanged by the other except that, so sicheng awkwardly retrieves his arms back to his sides, thankful for the lack of customers in the cafe. the last one has left when yuta chimed in earlier. 

“yuta?” kun emerges from his office just in time, scurrying over to the table now surrounded by the other staff except yukhei, since he’s still out with yongqin. a single smile is exchanged again but yuta never goes beyond that, as if his true emotions are locked away and nothing can bring them back to the surface, only the fake facade remains.

sicheng and kunhang wordlessly prepare cups of coffee for all who are present, missing out the small talk between the others. dejun knowingly locks the front door of the cafe and hangs up the ‘closed’ sign to provide them some privacy from the world. yuta reaches out for the coffee with both hands, a thankful smile is sent towards sicheng. they all gathered around the single table, awaiting for yuta to start the conversation.

“thank you for housing me.” he starts.

everyone keeps mum, a silent signal to let yuta know that he can proceed. and he does. “thank you for giving me a chance when i thought i wouldn’t be any good to anyone. thank you for allowing me to call you my family. thank you, for believing in me.” yuta takes a single sip of the coffee before continuing.

he takes a deep breath, a single tear escapes his left eye and rolls down his left cheek as he closes his eyes. when he opens them back, his right orb glares red in anger, the sclera black as midnight. the contrast between his two orbs isn’t the only thing that made the others gasp at him, but the growth of his kagune from his lower back glares bright red as itself, flowing so fluidly like the river. 

all ghouls retract away from the hybrid, their posture geared with defense. “a half ghoul?” kun is the first one to speak up, standing up to summon his own kagune. kun then notices how they both possess rinkakus, yet, yuta’s are far more agile and fluid. he wouldn’t stand a chance against nakamoto yuta, so, he degenerates his own rc cells, killing his kagune as yuta does the same.

yuta chuckles but the emptiness in his laughter hurt every soul present in the space, they know the sounds aren’t genuine. “i’m not here for a fight. i’m here to bid farewell.” nobody except sicheng notices yuta’s left eye is constantly pouring tears, yet his right one remain calm. it’s as if the human side of yuta is suffering while his ghoul side is leading every step of their way, against him.

“i cannot escape them.” yuta continues, eyes trained on every single member of the qian cafe. “and the last thing i want is for them to come for all of you.” yuta takes a step back, a strand of his prominent white locks tucked behind his ear neatly, making himself look majestic despite the pale skin and sunken eyes, at least to sicheng’s eyes. 

“goodbye.” with that, yuta disappears as fast as he enters. no one moves a muscle after the awfully short encounter, pairs of eyes fixed on their leader for a lead. and kun knows best. they decide to listen to yuta’s warning and return to their lives, pretending like the human boy whom they saved has never existed.

and that was the last time dong sicheng ever saw nakamoto yuta.

**Author's Note:**

> i would like to thank my beta, jess for the help! after 11k of words, my grammar is all over the place.
> 
> and thank you to you too! for making it until the end. i wish you enjoyed the story until the very end. it was a whole ride for me, and i have always wanted to write this work, but couldn't find the right time. finally, i've finished it! so, thank you for reading and enjoying it too.
> 
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/ghostlunes)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/pallipihae)  
> 


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